Job loss can be a gift — my news release is out today

I’m excited to share my news release with you. Let me know what you think!

January 19, 2012 10:00 ET

Author Says Job Loss Can Be a Gift

How to Get Off the Sofa and Back in the Game in 2012

TORONTO, ONTARIO–(Marketwire – Jan. 19, 2012) - The holiday hype is over, and the January bills are here, so if you’re one of the 26,000 Canadians who lost their full-time jobs in December, this might be the perfect time for a pep talk.

Educator and author Laurie M. Martin is ready to help. As someone who specializes in “life interruptions,” she is now turning her attention to helping people face job loss – head on.

Please read more here http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/author-says-job-loss-can-be-a-gift-1608715.htm

Wishing you a wonderful day.

Laurie

Train your mind to move toward the positive

As we bring 2011 to a close, and look ahead to 2012, I can’t help but write about the power of positive thinking.

I believe when we are born we are given a tool box. It has everything we need to be successful and happy, and to grow through diversity.

We humans have this uncanny resilience that helps us survive life’s toughest moments. What creates our life’s path is what happens in the fallout of those moments – what we believe, how we think, and how we choose to act.

I remember a saying that my mother told me. She said tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history, and today is a gift.

I think we would like to embrace this, yet a  lot of our thoughts are negative. Have you ever tried placing an elastic band on your wrist and snapping it whenever a negative thought comes your way? I have, and I can tell you honestly, it was a wonderful way of learning, of becoming aware of how to change my thinking and be more positive.

When people say something negative to me, I listen graciously; however, I will then very diplomatically ask, “Is there a different way to think about this situation?”

Negative thinking does not create good experiences. Every complaint, every upset or hurt, every bit of anger brings more of the same to you.  It’s easy to fall into victim mode. Soon you will create the opposite of what you really want.

Negative thoughts are still allowed; my message is that if you do not learn to change those thoughts into positive ones, you won’t change the overall pattern of your life.  Our parents probably didn’t teach us this because they were in a negative frame of mind. Perhaps they still are.

Maybe you are reading this and not buying it. Maybe you’ve read about the power of thinking positive and believed it too difficult, or not worth the effort. If so, you are affirming to yourself that it doesn’t work.

Anyone who takes up meditation, yoga, or martial arts learns how to focus. We have to train our minds to focus on more positive thinking, then do the things that make us feel good. In the end, it’s our actions that count the most.

A resource for you: http://www.louisehay.com/ Introduce yourself to the world of Louise Hay, a wonderful lady who has shaped our thinking about the mind-body-spirit connection. Her website even offers a daily affirmation. (Today’s is: I can shape my own destiny.) Enjoy!

Sending you best wishes for an amazing start to 2012! Open your mind and heart to the possibilities!

Is everyone uneasy these days?

My work as a recruiter and executive coach puts me in front of a lot of different professionals. This week I paid special attention to what people said outside of the standard questions I ask. I heard words such as sad, afraid, stress, crossroads, transition. I reflected on these words and concepts and it hit me – the energy around us seems anxious. Mother Nature is unbalanced. Temperatures are up and down, and people seem quick to become ill. I am regularly seeing people with low self-esteem who are suffering, both from external circumstances and internal anguish.

Is the planet experiencing a life interruption? What do you think?

Here’s a simple fact: attitude affects behaviour. Even saying to yourself, “I should not let my attitude affect my behaviour,” will affect your behaviour!

I want you to think about something. The pitch of an aircraft is measured by the “altitude meter.” It indicates nose-up or nose-down, and continuously monitors the aircraft’s position. I think we humans need an “attitude meter.” If we’re nose-up, we rise to new heights, no matter how strong the headwind. If nose-down, it will eventually bring us down, even in the best of circumstances.

A new year is on the way, and a fresh start. What does your attitude meter say?

How to communicate effectively during and after crisis or loss

Most people are uncomfortable communicating with someone who is experiencing a crisis or loss – from loss of a loved one to loss of a job.

We don’t know what to say or do to help when someone is grieving, so we focus on “business as usual,” say nothing at all and hope it passes quickly, or refer that person to counselling.

The desire to help others is human nature; communicating effectively when helping others through a crisis is essential.

When grieving loss or facing crisis a person may feel his or her heart is frozen. Your job is to support with compassion, without judgement, and without trying to “fix” anything.

Here are my four simple steps to communicating effectively during and following a crisis. They will help you help family members, friends, employees, colleagues, clients…whoever is relying on you to be there during times of stress, loss, grief, and trauma.

Listen and learn. Eliminate distractions, nod or use minimal encouragers like “I see,” question when appropriate but don’t interrupt. Empower the person by allowing him to find his own way.

“Hear” the silence. You don’t have to fill every silence. Let silence go on for a few moments. Let the person initiate the next part of conversation. Use the time to observe and think. Sometimes we rush to talk about our own similar experiences, make comparisons to something that happened to us or people we know. Resist the temptation to do this. Just be there.

Ask the right questions. Use questions to encourage, clarify a point, or move things along. Use open-ended questions, such as, “So, if I understand you correctly…” or “How can I help you?” or “I’ve never been in this situation. Can you tell me what it’s like?”

Realize your power to empower. Help the person explore her own options, rather than just providing solutions. True helpers are not rescuers; they empower others to regain control of their own lives.

(The four tips for communicating effectively during crisis are described in more detail in Life Interrupted.)